Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
