He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
