this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
