Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
