I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
