I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize