I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
