Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize