...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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