Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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