I wanna bring you to show and tell
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
