I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
