these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I am never drinking with the goths again.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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