And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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