i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
