North Korea, Best Korea!
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
