I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
