ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
