We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
