My cat gives me a boner
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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