rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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