last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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