mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
