He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
