after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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