He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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