Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
