I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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