just come out here and I will go home with you...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
