i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
