Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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