wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize