it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
