I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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