i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
