i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
