I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
