I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
