the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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