i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
