four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
