If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
