I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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