So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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