it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
