please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
