its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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