do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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