Screwed.edu
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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