Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
