His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize