He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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