Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
