You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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