I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
