i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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