So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
