OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
