Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
