wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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