OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
