There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
