Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
