I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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