JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
