i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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