im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
