I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
