Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
operation harelip BJ is a go
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
