he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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