I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
