dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
