She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
