I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
