Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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