i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize