ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
